Last night I dreamed that I was weightless! I was like, 0mg

Math Teacher and Clock

What do you get if you cross a maths teacher and a clock? Arithma-ticks!

Math Tree

What kind of tree could a maths teacher climb? = Geometry

Cosh Button

I hit someone with a scientific calculator – I used the cosh button

Alien’s Height

After careful investigation, it was found that aliens’ heights were paranormally distributed

Math Plant

Have you heard about the mathematical plant? It has square roots

Odd-man Joke

Hired an odd-job man to do 8 jobs for me. When I got back, he’d only done jobs 1,3,5, and 7


Two cats called ‘1,2,3’ & ‘un,deux,trois’ had swim race across channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!


Talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen for his farmer. He comes back and says ‘All 40 accounted for.’ Farmer says, ‘I’ve only got 36!’ Sheepdog replies, ‘I know, but I rounded them up.’

Mean and Average

He said she was average because he was mean.

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